One month on...

Kaitlyn turned 1 month old yesterday. She’s officially outgrown her newborn size (0000) clothes and graduated to 000 size. It’s almost incredible how fast babies grow.

For me, it’s been a roller coaster ride of a month. There are still times that I look at Kaitlyn and thought, oh my god, it’s a real baby! I am still getting used to her not being in my tummy, but out here in the big bad world, crying, farting, pooping and almost constantly eating. Occassionally I miss being pregnant, especially feeling her move inside of me. But hey, now I get to see her and hold her, so it really ain’t so bad. :)

On the c-section:
I will do it again without any second thoughts. With Kaitlyn’s size, I would not have been able to birth her the “other” way anyhow. So definitely no regrets. The recovery had been amazingly quick and easy. I must get my obstetrician a Thank You Card.

On being a mum:
It’s definitely the most difficult thing I have ever done, mainly because the total lack of control. Everything is dictated by the little person. There are times that I feel like sticking a ‘return to sender” note on her forehead and asking for a refund. However, I do love her, the love of a parent to a child is quite an amazing thing… Do I love being a mum? Yes for the most part. I do look forward to seeing what new things each day brings. She’s growing so fast, I am almost afraid to blink, in fear that I may miss something.

On life before Kaitlyn:
Occassionally, snippets of events, people and memories float to the surface, and they all feel so far far away. I do mourn the loss of certain aspects of the Life before Kaitlyn.

On Kaitlyn:
I am totally in love with this little person. I think she’s the cutest thing LOL, even when she’s all smelly and cranky. She smiles AT people now, it totally melts my heart when she does. :)

Well, here’s to surviving the first month, and I am sure before I have a chance to blink, she will be starting school…

Dropping the baby

Yesterday morning, in my sleep deprived state (had a rough night), I put Kaitlyn on top of the rockable foot stool while I tried to get her wrap and bed ready. I only had my back turned for mere seconds, she rolled!! and fell off the foot stool, landing on her head, neck distended. I turned around just in time to see her land on the floor...!!! She clenched up for a second or two then let out this heart breaking scream and tears pouring out of her eyes. I stood there in shock, couldn’t believe I dropped the baby. Then I picked her up to tried to comfort her, and she surprised me by promptly falling asleep (which I had no success in getting her to do for 2 hours before then). There was no more crying, just a sleeping baby, which to be honest worried me even more. I thought I had put my baby in a coma or something.

So, I spent the next 15 minutes freaking out before deciding to call 000 as it was early in the morning, there was no local GPs, and I had no way of getting to a hospital.

Kaitlyn took her first ambulance ride at 8am, 18th March, 2008. the doctors observed her for 4 hours then let us come home. she slept through most of it while i was worrried. She acted normally, so the doctors think she didn’t take any permenant damage. I am still worried but she’s too little for scans at the moment, so we will leave it till we see the paediatrician next time. We did find out that she’s now over 4kg!! My Little Miss Piggy.

Moral of the story, do NO let baby out of sight! The one day you are not looking will be the day they learn to turn/crawl/walk and get into a world of trouble.

Striving on with breastfeeding...

We’ve had issues with breastfeeding since day 3. Baby was not brought to me for the first feed till 2 and 1/2 hours after birth, no one told me I could’ve expressed when baby’s sleepy a lot the first couple of days to bring milk in… So when baby’s no longer “hibernating” on day 3, screaming for food, I didn’t have enough to feed her, even when feeding every hour for over 40 hours… It’s not till day 5 that the Lactation Consulation told me about expressing and the electric pump… and day 8 before she prescribed Motilium to try to increase the supply. To top off all the troubles, Kaitlyn has tongue tie, which means she doesn’t suck very well. She will suck and eat for about 5 minutes on the boob then stops and falls asleep, just to wake up 10 to 20 minutes later screaming because she’s still hungery.

So we’ve been trying and trying. My supply has much improved, but she still doesn’t suck well and long enough to eat a full meal on the boobs.

So, a change of tactics, I am expressing and feeding her via bottles. It means I have to pump for 10 to 30 minutes every 2 to 3 hours during the day and at least once or twice at night. But at least this way, it’s still breastmilk and we know exactly how much she’s eating… The only catch is my supply may decrease again because baby’s no longer on the boobs… Oh and also I cannot take the Motilium for longer than 2 weeks due to the side effects… so I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. I am taking fenugreek seed tablets in hope that they will keep my supply going for a while longer…

/sighs… I wish breastfeeding was as painfree as the c-section… Ah well, can’t win them all. I will keep at it while I still have milk… I do feel sad though not being able to breastfeed properly. Even feeding breastmilk through the bottle is not the same… :(

Kaitlyn's First Turn

Kaitlyn’s 3 weeks today, time flies…

Kaitlyn has been able to turn from her back to her sides for about a week now, and today, during tummy time, she turned from her tummy to her side!@! I know it’s not a full turn, but I am still really proud :)

She is also making a much wider ranger of sounds now, instead of the one pitch, air siren scream she had during her first week.

Kaitlyn's First Laugh

After her luchtime feeding today, Kaitlyn was sitting on my lap smiling to herself, then all of a sudden, she laughed out loud. Ok, she wasn’t really laughing AT anything particularly, but she laughed, with sound! Yes, moments like this make not getting enough sleep well worth it…

I do wish however, to be out of my PJs once a while… but nothing fits anymore as my body seems to have rearranged itself… Ah well, it’s not like I am allowed out for another few weeks anyways.

I laid on my tummy for the first time since I got pregnant, and it felt, so great! Also, being able to feel my stomach muscles again is wonderful… ah the little things we tend to take for granted…

Kaitlyn's 2 weeks checkup

Kaitlyn had her 2 weeks checkup.

Head circumference: 35.5cm (up 1.5cm)
Weight: 3.450kg (up 0.125kg from birth weight, she went down to 2.75kg on her 3rd day)
Height: 51cm (no change, but the nurse didn’t stretch her fully either)

She met all the milestones for her age, all reflexes are present.

To other news, she smiled!! I thought it was a “windy” smile, so I smiled at her, and SHE SMILED back, TWICE! She’s also able to turn her head from side to side while sleeping.

Breastfeeding is getting better now my supply is finally increasing. We are still supplementing but now she’s getting mainly expressed breastmilk instead of formula. The side effects of the Motilium are not affecting me as much anymore. I still have the nagging headache, but am no longer crying at the littlest things.