Lessons Leart Part II -- Birth

I had a caesarean section and yes I chose to have a caesarean section. I read many books, about all sorts of birthing options, home birth, water birth, assisted birth with forceps/vacumme, episotomy, c-section. I had thought long and hard over the my choices and I can truly say it was an informed decision and I had absolutely no regrets. To any other women who chose or may choose to have a c-section and had been made (unfortunately mostly by other women) to feel guilty about not giving their babies "THE birthing experience", or to feel guilty about losing out on an experience for themselves... well, follow your heart, your intuition and learn as much about all birthing options as you can. You are the only one who knows your body the best, you are the one who will have to live with whatever birthing choice you may make, with whatever scar/s you may get and wherever you may get them. If people don't like your decision, tell them to get some legos and build a bridge to get over it. Oh and if like me, a man tells you that from personal experience, natural is better. Ask him this: "What personal experience? Have you had an umbrella stuck up your penis and then opened? No? Well, maybe you should try that first before offering advice to a woman on whether to push out a baby." I have read many wonderful natural birthing stories, but I also heard too many horrible tales of babies in distress because the mothers just insisting on "all natural"...


I believe there's no RIGHT way of giving birth. There's no ONE way that is superior than any other way. A woman carried a baby from a single cell to full term of over 9000 billion cells, that's accomplishment enough. Being a mother is not JUST about the birth, as after the birth. the real task of parenting is only beginning. Personally, I did not need to have pushed out a 7 1/2 pound baby to prove I am more of a woman or more of a mother. Personally, I didn't NEED to experience the hours of pain and torture to feel more bonded to my child. But then, as I said it's just my personal opinion. I have total admirations and respect for women who do push out their babies and lived the tell the tale. /hats off to you.


* what to bring to the hospital

I overpacked. I always seem to overpack. So, here's a list of what I do find useful and stuff i didn't use


Useful stuff:

• personal toiletries: shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, facial cleanser, moisturiser, face cream, toner, LIP BALM, hair brush, SHOWER CAP
• slippers, next time I would bring a warm fluffy pair
• tops that buttons at the front if you plan to breastfeed
• warm socks
• outfits that you'd wear when you were around 6 months pregnant
• BRING YOUR OWN DOUBLE ELECTRIC BREASTPUMP. Learn from my mistake, invest in a good double electric pump (I love the Avent ISIS IQ DUO) before you give birth. The first few days of your baby's life, she/he will sleep a lot. Pump every couple of hours from the FIRST DAY so your milk will come in earlier and in more abundance. You really don't want your baby to be screaming in the middle of the night after 3 days because your milk still has not come in...
• disposable underwear in LARGE size. You don't want to ruin your good underwear, also, most of your panties won't fit anyways.
• Remember your camera/video camera and spare batteries
• pen and notepad to write down your thoughts and birth story

Useless things that took up space in my bag:

• books (you will be tired, overwhelmed with emotions/hormones, and busy feeding/settling your new born, seriously, you think you'd still have time to read?)
• snacks (the hospital fed me really well

* Recovery from c-section/birth

My recovery was relatively painfree and easy. I was off all pain meds by the end of the first week, and was able to walk around the hospital on the second day postpartum.

• Be on a semi-liquid diet from the day before the operation
• Stay on a liquid diet till you've passed gas and had bowl movements
• Get the cathetor AFTER you had your spinal block during the operation. My Obstetrician doesn't believe in putting in cathetors as he wants us to get off the bed and move around as soon as possible... well, I could move around without a problem, but having not had any water for hours and hours, peeing wasn't a simple task... They will take out the cathetor after 24 hours anyways.
• Get moving! Move your toes, legs, arms etc. as soon as you can out of the operation, and within hours hopefully you should be sitting up and eventually getting out of your hospital bed by end of the day of the operation. Then after a good night rest (hopefully), try to walk around a bit the next day. Slowly increase the walking during your hospital stay. Yes, it hurts to begin with, but the sooner you get moving, the sooner you will feel a world better.
  
• Pillows! Use the pillow to hold onto your incision site when you need to laugh, cry, cough, sneeze etc. And use the pillows for breastfeeding, it will help to make sure baby doesn't kick your incision site and will save your back and arms
• The only thing I got annoyed with in the hospital was they didn't remove my IV needles for 36 hours... by then, my arm was all bruised and itchy. So make sure you get the nurses to check our IV thingie regularly and remove it when you no longer need it
• Do NOT overdo anything. Basically for the first 6 weeks, your top priority is YOUR BABY. Don't worry about housework etc. You are to feed and care for your baby and nothing else
• Keep warm. For some reason, I was cold and sweating buckets all at the same time for weeks after the birth. If I am as much as catch a bit of breeze, I sneeze and have a runny nose for the whole day, which was very annoying. The postpartum sweating, wow, that's something that no one have told me before, and I have never ever ever sweated so much in my entire life. I would wake up after every sleep/nap covered in sweat, even my hair was wet. The sweating eased up after about 8 weeks for me
• Drink LOTS OF WATER, seriously, LOTS, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Cloning?

The Black and White one was me at 3 months, and the coloured one Kaitlyn at 3 months...

I was so chubby.

I think we look pretty alike, don't you? :D

Lessons Learnt, Part I -- Pregnancy

I have been thinking about writing up some lessons I've learnt throughout the pregnancy, birth and new born times, so that I guess if I get a chance to have a second, I won't make the same mistakes again. For anyone else reading, these are by no means expert advice LOL. As a very wise song once said "Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it's worth."

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Part I -- Pregnancy

* The sense of amazement and disbelief

Yes, we all know about the birds and the bees, we all took biology classes and saw enough documentaries on the Discovery Channel to know how it could "technically" happen. But no matter how much you know about the machanics of things and whether the pregnancy is fitting perfectly in your schedule and plans, when it does happen, you will still experience an overwhelming sense of amazement and disbelief, and asking yourself, "how did it happen?" Maybe it's like what my accountant said, "daddy took a trip and fell on mummy". I remember the day I found out about the pregnancy, I had this feeling for a couple of weeks that I should test, but just couldn't find the guts to do so. When I did, actually at work, in the bathroom, how very romatic, I was in shock. I laughed and cried all at the same time, and just stood there staring at the second line on the pregnancy test in totaly disbelief. All of a sudden the world just changed and priorities rearranged themselves. I had an uni exam that night, and as usual, I hadn't studied. After I got the pregnancy test results, I actually just couldn't be bothered to study (lucky I did good enough during the semester to still get through the subject with a Credit even though I only completed half of the exam paper).


* Your body is NEVER the same again

It's just one of those things, nature allows your body to "create", nurture and grow a human being from a single cell to over 6,000 billion cells in a short 10 months, something has to give. Most likely it is your body that is doing most of the giving. It doesn't matter how little weight you put on, how fit you keep yourself throughout the pregnancy or if you gave birth the 'old fashion way" or c-section, your body will NOT be the same again after the pregnancy and birth. It may not be all bad. You just may find yourself needing to buy new clothes even when you've gotten rid off all the pregnancy weight.


* You have NO control

For a control freak like me, this is one of the hardest thing to come to terms with about the pregnancy. From very early on in the pregnancy, you just have to learn, you have NO control.

• You have NO control over your bodily functions (when you pee, how often you pee, when you sleep, how much you sleep, when or where you may throw up etc.),
• you have NO control over what you eat and drink (what you used to love to eat may all of sudden become disgusting to you and things you never ate before may all of sudden become very appealing),
• you have NO control over your mental faculties (you will have temporary memories losses, lapses of time, and simply spend hours perhaps staring out the window and not knowing you've been doing it)
• you have NO control over how much weight you'd put on (you can eat healthy, but as you have no control over what you eat or drink this gets a bit difficult. And you should NEVER try to go on a diet while pregnant as it is harmful to the fetus)
  

The earlier you accept that you have no control, and allow your body to do what it's been designed and destined to do, the easier the pregnancy will be and the better you will feel about it.


* On sleeping

• You will sleep A LOT during the first trimester as you will be constantly tired and drowsy. Sleep as much as you can while you can.
• You won't get much sleep during the last trimester because your tummy's gotten so big you can't get comfortable, and your baby kicks and moves a lot as soon as you do get comfortable and drift off.
• Get lots of pillows of different sizes and shapes. Mix and match till you are comfortable. I was surrounded by 6 pillows of various sizes and shape when I was pregnant. I love the smalle wedge (bought at Kmart for 9 dollars), and the vshape pillow (also at Kmart for about 20 dollars).
• Invest in a good comfortable rocking chair with high back, arm rests and foot stool. You may find towards the end of your pregnancy, you could only sleep if you are sitting in your rocking chair.

* On maternity clothes

Maternity clothes are expensive, so here are some tips to minimise the need for them

• buy a belly belt. It's pretty much a wide cotton belt that you can put over the top of your normal pants/jeans/skirts and holds them up without you having to button/zip up the pants. An example of this is the BellaBand (http://www.ingridandisabel.com/bellaband.html). I actually bought mine from Target for 15 dollars each. It'd help you get more wears out of your maternity clothes (if you bought any) after the birth too.
• If you must buy maternity clothes, buy dresses. Buying pants means you are likely to have to buy a few different sizes. buying dresses means you can wear it for the entire pregnancy.

* On the ever expanding busts

Not sure if this is a blessing or curse of pregnancy, but your boobs will expand.

• They will be sore, very sore, especially at the beginning of the pregnancy
• Get good comfortable bras WITHOUGH underwires.
• Until the last trimester, your good comfortable sports bras would work just as well as a maternity bra
• Best to get your maternity bras fitted during the last few weeks of the pregnancy, so you don't have to get new ones when your milk comes in
• put whatever stretchmark creams you are using on your boobs as well, you just may get stretchmarks there too

* The much dreaded stretchmarks

Well, the brutal truth is, unless you are the 10% of all female population that is genetically immuned to stretchmarks, AND you are young (I am saying under 20/25?) AND you have exceptionally good skin to begin with, you WILL get stretchmarks. Maybe not till the last few weeks, maybe not very many of them, but you WILL get them. If you are unsure of your genes on stretchmarks, ask your mother, or a sister that has given birth. If they had them, most likely you WILL get them. I didn't get any till the week 35! /sighs


So, now the doom and gloom is out of the way, does that mean you won't use any creams and potions? Heck no. You still use them, even if it's just for the placebo effect or to help you sleep a bit better at night because it reduces the itchness of your tummy. As to which ones to use, it's totally up to you.


I have been told by Been There Done That mothers to wear mine proud as badges of honour to having carried a child from single cell to full term. It's a lot easier said than done. You will get depressed over the ruining of your pre-pregnancy body. But in the end, you get a healthy baby, it's not THAT bad a deal really.


* Thump-Thump (the controversy)

I unashamedly admit that I used "The BabyPlus Education System" throughout the pregnancy. See:http://www.babyplus.com/ It's a plastic box that you wear on your belly, which has 16 different "lessons" you play to your baby for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night from 18 weeks to full term. The lessons are rythmic beats, starting simple and slow, to quite fast and complex toward the end. We call it the Thump-thump as it does make rather loud thumping sounds. I even wore it on the train a few times to work, it's funny to see people looking around to trying to figure out where the thumping is coming from.


So, is it worth my time and did it help the baby?


During the pregnancy, baby reacts to the thumping quite consistently. She will move around more when thump-thump was on, sometimes even tapping with the beats. It's a good excuse for me to spend some quiet quality time with my belly/baby. Some people read to their belly, some people play music, I guess I just chose to use thump-thump. Baby had a very predictable schedule while in my belly of wake and sleeping.


Kaitlyn was born at 38.5 weeks (full term is 40 weeks). At birth, Kaitlyn was alert, with eyes wide open and a very loud cry that didn't sound like a new born cry (you know the ones that sounds like a injured kitten meowing). She scored 9/10 and 9/10 for her APGAR (score based on 1 minute and 5 minutes after birth, on skin colour, Heartrate, reflex, muscle tone and breathing). She was alert when she was awake. She nursed like a champ the first time we put her to breast. Personally I believe if not for the tongue-tie, we would've had a much easier time with breastfeeding from the start.


Developmentally (keep in mind I am biased as I am her mother), she was socially smiling from week 3, able to hold her head up from about week 6, started to grab/reach for things around week 9, held her own bottle at feeding at week 10. I believe she's at least a bit ahead of the normal developmental curve, and I can only hope this trend continues.


So, how much of it do i contribute to using thump-thump? I don't know exactly. But I know enough that I will use it for my second baby if I have one. I bought my BabyPlus from eBay for 1/3 the original price. Would I buy it at full price? I will tell you when Kaitlyn's a couple of years old :D


That's all I can think of right now. Stay tuned for Part II -- Birth, coming soon to the LiveBlog near you.

3 months yay!

Mood: cheerful

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Well, I made it, we breastfed for 3 whole months!!! I actually can’t quite believe it still. The journey so far with breastfeeding had been so difficult, I didn’t think I’d made it this far. We went to the paediatrician yesterday, and were told that Kaitlyn can start solids in 2 months… woot. So, 2 more months of exclusive breastfeeding, then probably gradually reduce to wean.
I will definitely look forward to not having to eat oatmeal and fish + paw paw soup everyday, and to have a much more varied diet.

Her measurements are all still right on 50 percentile, weighing 5.4kg, with head circumference of 39.5cm. We couldn’t measure her height as she wiggled too much. All her tests came back normal and she’s no longer jaundiced. ABOUT TIME…

She’s a good little baby. :) I am happy. (although last night she refused to sleep again LOL)

12 weeks and a quick update

Mood: happy

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She started drooling A LOT and discovering her legs and feet. It’s funny to watch her try to reach and “grab” things with her feet. She’s also pushing up with her arms and totally lifting her head when doing tummy time.

She had a head ultrasound yesterday and they didn’t find anything abnormal at all, which is good news.

We are trying to get her into a good bed time routine, by feeding her a bottle at the same time every night, follow by a bath, nice massage with the bedtime lotion, then a bit of a cuddle before putting her to bed. So far, we have about 50% to 80% success rate of her sleeping for 4 to 5 hours straight, then waking only for feeds and back to sleep right away. Here’s hoping she will get better with the routine.

11 weeks

Kaitlyn’s 11 weeks old now. Her colic is getting better although still have her one hour of pain between 6 to 7 in the morning and a bit of restless time in the evenings. Last night was almost a miracle. We went out to dinner with family and friends for my mother’s birthday. Kaitlyn was on her best behaviour, the whole time, sitting quietly in her pram observing everything/everyone around her. She was extra adorable in her pink bunny suit. We got home, fed her, bathed her, and turned up the heater a bit, and put bedtime lotion all over her. After that, she actually went to sleep without any cuddle time, in her cot. And she slept frmo 9pm till 1am, then again from 1:30am to 5am, 7:30 to 9:30am. I was so amazed. We are going to try the same routine again tonight and see if she can repeat the same performance. :D

She grew out of the 000 size now (that’s 0 to 3 months size), and now onto the 00 sizes (3 to 6 months). She’s quite a long baby! Although I am a little worried about her lack of weight gain in the last 2 weeks. I hope she is getting enough to eat… She has enough wet and dirty nappies though, I am unsure of why she’s not putting on weight. Patches of her hair is falling out and patches of new hair is growing. Her hair is now darker, going from a dark blonde to light brown. Her eyebrows are growing and darkening too, from the platinum blonde they were to now a darker blond that you can see.

She also had her 2 month vaccination shots last week which gave her 2 days of fever, and gave us a very cranky baby. After 2 days though, she’s good as new again. I felt so sorry for her when she got the needles… she was screaming SOOOO loud! and there were so much tears. Yeah, she gets tears now, and it makes her crying even harder to handle…

Oh and I breastfed Kaitlyn in a restaurant last week. I really didn’t mean to but not very long after she was fed (in the parents room’s breastfeeding booth), she got hungery again and won’t stop crying while I was starting my lunch. The only way to stop the crying was to feed her again, so I did, in the middle of a restaurant. Granted it wasn’t busy (only two other people eating at the time), and I did cover up, it still felt like a huge deal to me LOL. People are fine with it though. I think I got more a surprised look from the waiter when I ordered a second serving of the Spag Bol than that I was nursing a baby in public.

Lyrics -- You are gonna miss this

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaning, saying “I can’t wait to turn 18”
She said “I’ll make my own money, and I’ll make my own rules”
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said “I was just like you”

You’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this

Before she knows it she’s a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her “It’s a nice place”
She says “It’ll do for now”
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says “Baby, just slow down”

Cause you’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this

Five years later there’s a plumber workin’ on the water heater
Dog’s barkin’, phone’s ringin’
One kid’s cryin’, one kid’s screamin’
And she keeps apologizin’
He says “They don’t bother me.
I’ve got 2 babies of my own.
One’s 36, one’s 23.
Huh, it’s hard to believe, but…

You’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this”

————

Yes I know I am getting a little sentimental the last few days. Blame it on the hormones perhaps. Baby’s been very fussy again lately and I needed these to get myself through.

An Important Message -- by Kaite P

(“borrowed” from the Pregnancy.org Feb 2008 Board, Written by “Kaitie P“)

As I am typing, my sweet baby girl is sleeping in my arms…

No matter how hectic our lives are, let’s all try our hardest to cherish every second that we have with our babies. I personally am terrified that I will not appreciate this precious gift until it is gone.

This morning I sat with my older son in awe as he told me stories, and played in a grown-up sort of way (well, grown-up for a two-year-old ). When did my baby boy turn into such a big boy? When did he become old enough to put on his own shoes, or to help me fix his breakfast? When did he become tall enough to open that door by himself?

I remember so clearly those seemingly endless weeks of colic, the months when he did not sleep through the night. And now, those times are a distant memory. When you are living through those moments, it sure doesn’t seem like one day you will miss them! Gradually my baby has become a toddler, and knowing how fast these past two years have flown by, I’m sure that all too soon he will be graduating from high school and (gulp) going out on his own.

Now as I sit here holding my baby daughter, I am terrified because this time around I am all too aware of how quickly she will grow. I’m sure those of you with kids older than mine will agree.

Some days I find myself focused on silly things. We have to hurry up because it’s time for a nap, or we can’t go for a walk because we have to do this errand. Yes, routine is good, but not to the point where you don’t stop to smell the roses. I decided last week to make a conscious effort to enjoy all of the little moments. I want to remember every cuddle, every smile, and every kiss. I don’t want my kids to be grown up before I learn to appreciate all of these special times that I have been blessed to share with them. When you stop and think, really think, about this miracle that is your sweet baby, it is so incredible.

My baby is still sleeping, and I think I will just watch her for a while…

She held the bottle and fed herself!

During our daily bottle feeding session tonight, Kaitlyn grabbed the bottle with her two hands and held the bottle on her own without any assistance and did it for the whole feeding session!!!! It’s a standard Avent bottle, no handles and not ring shaped or anything. Woot! Smart little cookie this one. (according to the All Knowing Internet, most babies don’t do this till 3 to 6 months)