Lessons learnt, Part III -- Caring for a newborn (0 to3 months)

This is my first child and there's just so much to learn every day. Being a mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. Here are the most important things I've learned:

• IF your child has a tongue tie, do everyone a favour, and GET IT RELEASED/CUT. Kaitlyn's tongue tied caused us a lot of crying, pain and sleepless nights. I constantly had sore, bleeding nipples, Kaitlyn never ate enough in one sitting even with bottles and had to eat every 1.5 hours. It's very frustrating that most doctors won't give referrals to have the tongue tie fixed due "political correctness". F*** political correctness I'd say, in this case. I wish I had gotten Kaitlyn's done as soon as she was born. I probably would've have a chubbier baby and would've saved everyone a lot pain.

• The baby sets the schedule for your day

• The nights are long, but the weeks are short

• Parenting is a learnt skill, although you should trust your instincts, there are techniques that can be learned that may make life easier for everyone

• Always respond to your baby's cries. ALWAYS, at least till the baby turns 6 months. Baby needs to know that you will be there for him/her. Responding to the baby's cries, builds the trust relationship between parent and child.

• Buy nappies in bulk. The new born size (green Huggies) will only last a couple of weeks. But from Infant size (4 to 8kg), buy in bulk whenever it's on sale. Kaitlyn used Infant size till she was 6 months.

• Buy baby wipes in bulk. You can never have too many baby wipes, unless you are wanting to use cloths and water.

• Wrap the baby, not too tightly of course. And wrap the baby with the arms near the face as most babies sooth themselves with the arms/hands. During the first month or so, you may want to swaddle, i.e. wrap the legs in as well, so they don't startle themselves when kicking. Gradually, they will not need to be wrapped. Your baby will let you know when.

• The belly button: Bath and clean your baby as you normally would even when the belly button stump is still in. It's ok if it bled slightly, or smelled SLIGHTLY off. It should fall off on its own between 7 to 10 days. Do NOT pull or try to break it off, EVER. If in doubt call the doctor.

• Finger nails: for the first 2 months, their nails are very soft. There's no need to use a nail clipper or pair of scissors to cut them. They can be easily peeled off with your finger nails or your teeth. Remember not to peel too far. This is best done right after a feed when they are drowsy.

• Nursing station: set up a nursing station for breastfeeding. You will need:

• a comfortable chair, preferrably with foot rest. I LOVE my rocking chair, wouldn't have survived the early months without it.
  
• A table next to it where you can put the following: Water, protein bars, moisturiser for the baby, nipple cream, some reading material, burp towels, a clock.
  
• A pillow or 10 for your back, and a blanket to keep you legs warm. You are not sure how long your baby will eat for, so be comfortable.
• If you are someone that gets many phone calls, put your phone close by too
• You will be glad you have everyone close by as walking around with a baby attached to your boobs is NOT a good look and is definitely not easy once they are more than 3 weeks old
• Go to the toilet before you start a breastfeeding session

• Vaccinations: Your baby will have a vaccination at birth, 1 at 1 month old, and 1 at 3 months old. Note the following:
• he/she may get sick, have a temperature, have runny poops, a lot more whiney and clingy. Or he/she might just sleep A LOT right through it.
• If he/she has a temperature above 38 degrees celcius, give baby panadol every 6 hours. If temperature is higher than 38.5 degrees celcius, take baby to doctor right away
• Keep baby hydrated by nursing often. Even if baby is sleeping, wake him/her up every 3 hours max to feed.

• Playtime: You have precious little awake time during the first couple of months. Talk to the baby, let him/her watch your face and expressions. When he/she is a little more interactive around 2 or 3 months, introduce colourful simple toys. Kaitlyn loves a fluffy flower.
  

• Bath time, we bathed Kaitlyn every night. Not because baby gets dirty, but we wanted to set a routine for her. Remember to support baby's neck when bathing.

• Bedtime routines (4 Bs): It took us months before we figure out her routine and introduced bedtime routine. I wish we had done it earlier. Every night around 8pm, she gets bathed, bottled fed, a book was read to her, then we put her to bed.

• Tummy time: do it, and do it often. I wish we did more of it. Put baby on a mat on the floor and on her tummy for a few minutes at a time.

• Reflux and collic:
• Kaitlyn had both. The collic went away around 5 months and Reflux around 6 months. So yeah, eventually it was all better.
• While you are going through it though, it can be tough
• Make sure you have MANY burp towels. just little face cloths that you use to clean up her mess.
• Get changed soon as you get home (if you are working) into cloths that you do not mind being vomitted on.
• Burp the baby after each feed and make sure you get a few burps before laying him/her down
• Keep a food diary if you are breastfeeding, so you know if anything you eat may be stting off worse collic or reflux
• Tilt the bed so baby's head is higher than the feet. Kaitlyn slept a lot better with the inclined bed during the first 6 months. You can lower the head of the bed again when baby's ready.
  

• Making the bed:
  
• do NOT put any soft toys, mobiles, pillows, thick blankets on the bed to avoid SIDS
• Put baby to the foot of the bed to sleep so avoid baby falling under the blankets
• Put the following on the bed: 1x water proof fitted sheet, 1 cotton fitted sheet, then again on top of that, 1 water proof fitted sheet, and 1 cotton fitten sheet. Reason being, if baby did a boo boo in the middle of the night (vomit or wet the bed), you only need to remove the top fitten sheet and water proof sheet and you now have a fresh bed. Nothing worse than having to wander around the house, look for a new set of bedding and then making the bed. Not to mention the noise may wake the baby.
• if in winter and have to use doona, use breathable ones, and make sure the sides are securely tucked under the bed

• SLEEP when baby does. If you only have one child and you child actually sleeps, make sure you sleep as well. Ignore the dishes, ignore the mountain of laundry, etc. SLEEP. You will be glad you did.
  

That's all I can think of right now. I am sure there's plenty more that I have forgotten. A new baby is quite a challenge. Everyday you get more tired, but everyday there's so much joy as you see baby do new things almost daily. Enjoy the newborn period, because too soon, you will realise, they have grown up so big and way too quickly.

Now she doesn't want solids?

WTF? the past month, she was not interested in milk/bottles, and this week, she doesn't want solids??!! Correction, she doesn't like rice cereal and vegies/fruits anymore. She will still have the rice congee that mum cooks for dinner, but will no longer have rice cereal mixed with milk and vegies/fruits! It's so frustrating feeding her, as she keeps pushing the spoon away and grabbing the food, making food go everywhere. /sighs Don't know what to do with this girl. She used to love her food!

Little China Doll

Just because I am procrastinating and not wanting to finish my study, I fiddled with a couple of Kaitlyn's photos... She's so cute in this little Chinese outfit. I also realised I have over 400 photos to sort and organise to upload to somewhere one of these days, or get them printed. So much to do, and no time at all. (for some reason it's a bit pixelated, just click on the picture to get a smoother look.)

I want to do it myself!

Changing Kaitlyn is becoming increasingly difficult as she now rolls around, reaches over her head to hand us the baby wipes (after playing with the packet for ages first LOL), and reaches over the sides of the change table to get the butt paste (for nappy rash).

Due to the warm weather, we sometimes only put a nappy and a top on Kaitlyn during the day. She has learned to undo the tabs of her nappies and been trying to pull her nappies off whenever she has a chance. It's almost like she doesn't like wearing nappies anymore. But hey, I wouldn't blame her, I can't imagine being in nappies all day is all that comfortable. She does have pretty predictable times for pees/poops, so maybe we should start potty training soon.

She's also started to hit and grab for the spoon whenever she's being fed solids. She will give us a big giggle if we let her hold the spoon and put the food into her mouth. She also grabs for the bowl. She's such an independent child. Although, I am not sure I am ready to deal with the mess of her feeding herself yet. So we are going to start soft baked vegies as finger food and let her play with those first. She can use the spoon in a couple of months.

On the teething front, she started drooling buckets again the last 2 days and I could feel a hard spot in her bottom gums. Part of me hopes teeth are coming soon, so we can give her more finger food. Part of me wants the teeth to stay away as I would really hate being bitten and don't look forward to any sleep disruption due to teething. I guess it's ok, either way.

She mimics us when we talk or chew, so she's constantly moving her mouth. It's adorable, she looks like one of those really old toothless ladies that babbles all day long.

It's easy to tell her moods now, and she's letting us know what she does or does NOT want. She will do a "happy clap or thump" when she's excited and happy, where she gives you a big smile, taps her hands or feet on whatever surface she's on, and huffs and puffs. When she's unhappy, she wrinkles her nose (sort of like Samantha in Bewitched) and huffs and puffs, sometimes screams a little. She reaches out to us for hugs, and will hug us around the neck very tight when she wants to be affectionate. When she had enough cuddles, she will lean backwards and point at wherever she wants to be, floor or chair, or her Kandee Car.

I just love watching her personality unfold.

Self-weaning or Nursing Strike?

I have a baby question.

Kaitlyn has been less and less interested in her bottles lately. If I am home, she will nurse off the boobs for about 10 minutes, then drinks 30 to 120mls (mostly closer to the 30mls) of bottle. But most of thetime, it seems that she just wants to push the bottle away It makes me feel like I was force feeding her, and she's getting upset at the sight of the bottle. When I am not home, she still wouldn't take more than 50mls each feed, that means she only gets150mls from 6am to 7pm!!! According to all the baby books and stuff, she should be eating 210mls for EACH MEAL. I try to squeeze in an early morning boob feed and try to get her to eat for as long as possible (she's normally half asleep and can be "made" to keep sucking) and I feed her before she goes to bed. I doubt I have much milk by the end of the day though.

Anyways, She loves her solids and will eat 80mls to 100mls of solids 3 times a day (morning and lunch, 2 cubesof avocado, 1 cube of fruit, some fomula to thin it a bit and 2 scoops of rice cereal. at dinner, mum makes rice and chicken congee for her and she will eat 100 to 150mls of it).

She put on 300gms inthe week after we came back from Tresillian (but that's after she'slost 300gms while we were there), and she has not put on ANYTHING now for 3 whole weeks! She's falling off the growth chart... down to 10% now... my poor baby.

She doesn't seem hungry or upset or sick at all and is producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies. I am just worried that she's not eating enough milk...

Is she self-weaning already? or she is on a nursing strike? I am not sure how to get her to put on some more weight... /sighs.

Any ideas?

First Blood

Kaitlyn got into a small accidently yesterday and hurt one of her fingers. We put her in her pram, and I didn't realise her hand was on the side when I moved the handle over to the front, it ran over her hand, and peeled quite a bit of skin off one of her fingers and drew some blood. My dad totally freaked out. She was quite a brave girl, only cried for a minute or so. She didn't even cry when she had a bath last night. /sighs I guess kids get hurt all the time... I need to be more careful though.

Kaitlyn drives better than mummy ;)

Kaitlyn's doing great with her walker, she "walks" all over the house in her little "Kandee Kar" ;) She even does a very beautiful 3-point-turn. By the looks of it, she will be a much better driver than me :D

She's still learning to crawl properly. She now sticks her bottom in the air, but everything she tries to move forward, she ends up going backwards and she gets frustrated. She's sooo very cute though.