Mine, all mine

Kaitlyn started to recognise things as Hers. She would not eat the rice cereal unless it's given to her with HER spoon. She also gets jealous and starts screaming when other people are hugging Her mummy. My silly little pie.. :) She opens her mouth for the cereal and gets impatient if we don't feed her fast enough.

She's playing with toys with both hands and passes them from hand to hand.

She definitely knows what the word "Mum" means as she didn't say that at all while I was away all weekend, but started calling out Mum when I walked in the door. My baby knows her first word yay.

We've moved back to my parents' as I started uni classes this week. So far, she's settled in very nicely. She sleeps so much better when my mother puts her to bed. When I try to put her to bed, she just clings and want to play.

This is a great age, she's a lot of fun and very interactive, but not yet crawling/walking so no need to run after her all the time.

FIVE month!!

Kaitlyn's 5 months old. Here are the things she's now doing:

• She will look at us when we said her name/s. She's starting to expect "Kaitlyn" from us, and "Yuanyuan" from my parents.
• is sittning up unsupported for short periods of time
• is rolling over more often
• is babbling A LOT
• laughs out loud often
• is trying to pull herself up, and when she's sitting, she moves her head and upper body forward
• hugs, grabs and pinches people (ouches)
• kicks to try to stand when held up
• starting to whine and make noises to get attention
• starting to shy away from strangers and cries if held by strangers for too long

She's hitting every developmental milestone up to 6th Month so far and doing a couple of the 7th month stuff :)

She started rice cereal and is doing great with eating. oh and her current favourite pass time is staring at the back of her hand LOL and "flying".

The curse of the blocked nose

Looks like Kaitlyn has inherited my easily irritated nose. She constantly has a blocked nose for 2 weeks now. If she cries, she gets a block nose, if she has a block nose, she cries... very bad cycle it is... We do have the baby nose spray and the suction thingie... but it's only fixes the blockage and doesn't stop it from happenning in the first place... /ARRGGHH!!!!

On a brighter note though, last night, all of a sudden, she decided she no longer wants to be wrapped when sleeping. She slept all night with her arms all spread out. Ok it was rough before I figured out that she just didn't want to be wrapped anymore. She would fall asleep, then start screeching as if she was in pain after about 10 minutes... so till about 1am, I was running in and out of her room trying to get her to settle. After I gave up, and unwrap her, she slept totally spread out, for 3 hours (yes I know it's not all that long compared to all the babies that sleep through the night, but for Kaitlyn, 3 hours is good). My little baby is so grown up now... no wrapping anymore... /misty eyes...

Being a mum (found on the internet somewhere)

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Week 19 and 4 months shots

I am so glad that I have 40 weeks off from work. If I had taken full pay, I would've needed to go back to work next week. I am just so not ready! I have yet to leave my baby more than 5 hours at a time... I am dreading the day when I have to go back to work. Actually I am dreading the nights I have lectures! Semester starts in a few weeks... Kaitlyn has not been able to go to sleep at night without me so far. It will really break my heart to have to leave her at night knowing that she will likely cry for ages before she will sleep.

I took Kaitlyn to the doctors for her 4 months vaccines. She's such a brave girl now. She only screamed for a very short time. She's asleep now, I think the vaccine and the panadole make her sleepy. Just wish she didn't have to get the shots... but then, it's the lesser of two evils to be sick for a short while... or getting very sick for a long time if we don't get the shots.

It seems like everyday I see her, she looks different although I can't really put my finger on what it is really. Maybe she's growing bigger all the time, or maybe her face is getting more expressive, or she's looking less and less like me each day. Her eyes seem to differ in colour all the time, dark green/gray, brown, steel blue/black. I have no idea what colour they will end up (although probably brown...)