Desperation...

I am at my wit's end pretty much with Kaitlyn's sleeping problems. I am so exhausted due to the complete lack of sleep. She wakes up every HOUR until at least 1am every night, then is up again between 4 to 6. She doesn't nap more than 30 minutes each time during the day either... so I just get no break at all...

I am teary and frustrated/irritated most nights trying to get her to sleep. It's not helping as Kaitlyn probably picks up my bad moods and cries even worse and wouldn't calm down for bed...

I went to the GP yesterday to try to get a referral to Tresillian (http://www.tresillian.net/), and do a 5 day stay there to try to get her into better sleeping habits and for me to learn better settling skills. The GP kept saying to me, but you don't look stressed/depressed, and definitely wasn't taking me seriously. I had to keep pointing out the fields that he didn't fill in for the referral form. After 10 mintues of him being totally dismissive and trying to rush me out of the office, I totally just had it and started crying. Sure, I don't look stressed or depressed. I DON'T show my emotions unless I feel close to that person. That does not mean I am NOT desperate, or depressed/stressed! At the sight of tears, he finally came around and started taking me more seriously and properly filled in the form and faxed it. /sighs, why does a girl have to cry to be taken seriously? I mean, why would anyone say they are depressed/stressed, if they are not? Especially to a doctor?? Where's the professionalism!!??

So, here's hoping I'd hear back from Tresillian soon. Their usual waiting period for residential stays is over a month...

Don't get me wrong, I still love Kaitlyn to bits and she's such a wonderful baby. It's just so difficult at the moment, having no sleep, then studying for 2 subjects for my Masters, and trying to get the marriage working. The house is a disaster area and the mess stresses me even more... where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Would my baby ever sleep better?