So tired (whine fest)

You know how sometimes you see these women that have a clan of children and are saying how easy everything is and how being a mother is just so natural to them?

well, I ain't one of those women. Don't get my wrong, I wanted 2 kids, and I feel blessed every single day to have my 2 beautiful children and I love them to pieces. I just get so frustrated that my body is just not doing tasks that are supposedly easy and natural!

My body is definitely NOT made for pregnancy and birth. Neither of my kids ever dropped or engaged, so even if I didn't choose to have c-sections, they most likely wouldn't have come on their own anyways without surgical assistance. As they were, the obstetrician had to literally put his foot on the table to pull my babies out.

Breastfeeding, geez, you'd think with D cup boobs feeding a tiny baby would've been a piece of cake eh? Well, apparently not. The first kid had a bad tongue tie, so feeding her was a constant battle. She never latched on properly until we got her tongue tie released at 6 weeks. So, I was attached to the breast pump to try my hardest to get enough milk to feed her. Even with a bottle, she wasn't drinking properly. Even after the tongue tie was clipped, she's gotten into bad routines of feeding every 1.5 hours all day long! That lead to her not sleeping enough and not settling herself to sleep... That went on for another 7 months. It wasn't till I landed in hospital that my GP took me serious enough to give me a referral to go to Tresillian for help... Anyways, it was almost a miracle that I was able to breastfeed her for 14 months.

The second kid is a lazy sleepy eater, feeding him means constantly attaching him, then detaching him in a few minutes, try to wake him up, then re-attaching, rinse and repeat for 1 hour to 1.5 hours! Then, still having to express to keep the supply up as Max just "couldn't be bothered" to finish the job.

It's like deja vu, even with his 3 hourly feeding schedule, I still end up with no more than an hour between feeds, day or night...

To add salt to injury, there are all these women complaining about engorgement and having too much milk and not knowing what to do with it? Why couldn't my body do the same!

I am so tired. :( I am so annoyed with my body not doing what SHOULD come naturally! Argggh!

I swear this mothering thing is harder than doing a Master Degree and sitting the Mensa Test... and I have done both...